Is it rain? Or is God Crying?

*** continued from previous post ***

As a native North-westerner, you know that 'rain' comes in many flavors. There is the gentle ‘mist’ that creeps into every crack and crevice and soaks you to the bone in seconds. There is the 'light rain’ that trickles down gently from the skies, and soaks you to the bone in seconds. There is the typical 'rain', as in "Hey, it's raining!", that pelts your skin and soaks you to the bone in seconds. There is the 'cloudburst rain', that comes from nowhere, and soaks you to the bone in seconds. Then we have the 'deluge', the big splattering drops that . . . well, soaks you to the bone in seconds.

These are the rains you know. Throw those conceptions right out the window. But first check to make sure there is no one walking on the sidewalk below. You don't need a lawsuit.

Oh, the first few drops were innocent enough. Sort of a "Hello, I'm rain. Pleased to meet you. Just passin' through. Just makin' the grass and the trees grow. Don't worry about me, I'll be on my way soon enough. You enjoy your day now."

Stupid rain. Once rain starts on a train of thought, much like a Pokemon aficionado or a model train enthusiast, it's hard to get it to shut up. So I became aware of this wet little bastard before anyone else on the boat. There are few advantages to being bald, but being the first to know when it's raining is right up there, second only to the ego stroke one receives from the never-ending stream of, "Hey! You have a really nicely shaped head." Every time someone says that to me, I think, "What the hell? Is it because they feel bad about me being bald? That's the only compliment they can think to say? Really? Would you tell a one-armed person, "Hey, the remainder of your arm is very cylindrical?

Or is it something else? Is the shape of my head so important that you feel the need to comment? I mean, it's not like I did anything. There are no special exercises to produce a 'nicely shaped head'. No creams, lotions, or injections. And what, I wonder , do my brothers with the less symmetrically shaped noggins hear? If human nature, and past experience is any guide, it probably isn't pleasant. "Oh dear. Well, that's unfortunate, isn't it?" Or, "My, were you left on your back in your crib a lot as a baby?" Possibly,"Jesus! Did anyone live in the accident?" Why comment at all? How many times has someone come up to you and said, "Wow. That is a really attractive elbow you got going there." Or, "May I just say that is one round eyeball. Very nice." No. You never hear, "I don't want to be forward, but your knuckles are particularly attractive today." And why? Because . . . it starts . . . it's probably just . . . well I have no idea, but as your Great Uncle Jonathon the Priest used to say when referring to the Church's position on celibacy, "that shit's just gotta change".

Odd duck that Jonathon.

*** the journey continues tomorrow ***