Maybe The Nice Moosey Will Move

*** continued from previous post ***


"I'll rev the engine a bit. That should get her moving."

You know that I'm not a fan of loud exhaust. The whole "loud pipes save lives" argument never held water with me. Supposedly, a loud exhaust will make drivers in their cars hear you better, and, the reasoning goes, will help them to be alerted to your presence. Which is good because people in cars don't pay much attention to anything smaller than they are. What the loud pipe crowd fails to acknowledge is that the sound coming out of the exhaust is directed BEHIND you. Sure, you have a bit of a rumble zone, but the blast goes out the back, alerting THOSE YOU'VE ALREADY PASSED that you're there.

I know guys that aren't happy until they can rap the throttle and set off a car alarm. And it may piss off those that might ever read this, but I'm calling you out - the reason you have loud pipes is to be cool and scare the straights. To each their own. That’s what America is all about. Me? Well I never saw a reason. I'm confident in the size of my . . . um . . . maleness. However, should one of the many fine manufacturers of after-market exhaust advertise that their products would scare the hell out of a moose or a bear, I'd have my money on the counter so quick you'd think I was a congressman on a fact-finding tour of a house of ill repute five minutes before closing.

So, I give the throttle a good crack. Nothing. The exhaust on the Vision isn't nearly as quiet as a lot of bikes I've ridden, but I might as well be miming my actions for all the response I'm getting from the moose.

I rev again and again. Nada.

"She's not going to move, is she?", Mom says with utter despair.

"It's okay. I'll honk the horn, that will get her moving."

All the while I expect THE BEAR to pounce on us at any moment. I honk the horn. I honk the horn again. I honk the horn one more time, and I can't be sure, but I believe the moose raised her front hoof and flipped us off.

"Umm . . . ", Mom says, "did the moose just flip us off?"

"I believe it did sweetie. I believe it did."

"What are we going to do?"

Good question that. Amazing question. I vote for wetting our pants and crying like three-year olds.

"Well, let's give it a minute. Maybe the nice moosey will move on her own."


*** the journey continues ***