Zippity Doo Dah!

*** Okay, back to the fun ***


Mom was the first to spring out of bed. Well, spring might be too strong a word. Slithered is more like it. You can’t imagine how many muscles you use riding a motorcycle. Then add several hours of intense panic on top of that and it tends to tax the tendons a bit. Think of a rubber band that's been twisted along its length, oh . . . several thousand times.

I pried my eyes open and managed a garbled, "Morning tiger."

Mom looked at me through the fog of sleep. Her eyes squinty and puffy, and with a slight hint of drool around the corners of her mouth. "Morning," she mumbled.

"Sleep well last night?"

"Oh yeah. I don't think I moved once my head hit the pillow. Completely exhausted. How about you?"

"Like a baby. Or like someone that's been sedated. And none of the dentist office, 'we're going to give you something to help you relax' sedation. I'm talking the good stuff. The major surgery sedation. The black hole sedation. The 'Okay, the procedure will take about 7 hours so we're giving you . . . time to wake up! It's all over!' sedation."

She looked at me, blinking. "Well. I guess that's good. I'm going to go take a shower. We have about 45 minutes until breakfast."

She gave me a quizzical look, trying to decide if she was going to bring up the fact that we were going to be eating 'family style' with a group of people that may, or may not, be hostile. I saw her calculate, saw the wheels spin, and finally - thank Jeebus - she decided that this particular battle could wait until she'd washed the cobwebs from her brain.

"Okey doke. I'll be here," I said with what I hoped was a friendly grin. I very much wanted the day to start out right.

She looked at me hard. As if she hadn't decided whether my still being here was a positive or a negative. Oh cruel woman, must you carry a grudge? I hadn't had her close to death in what . . . 9 hours? Some people just can't let go. Sad really. Anyway, with a shrug she stepped into the bathroom and closed the door. I had survived one of the most dangerous times of the day - pre-shower. Whatever followed should be a piece of cake.

Or so I told myself.