We Meet The Native Homo Canukus

*** continued from previous post ***


After a cursory check on the bike, (Yep! Still a motorcycle!), we made our way into the Lodge. The place was alive and bustling. Voices and laughter poured from the interior. Yet your mother was as tense as an OCD sufferer in a light-switch factory. We took a deep breath, casting caution and judgment to the wind, and stepped through the alcove into the dining room.

The first thing I noticed was that in the daylight, the bank of windows had one of the most staggering views I've ever witnessed. I know I keep hammering this home, but it really was indescribable. And yet I blather on anyway. Jagged granite mountain peaks, the lush meadow, the creek . . . this must be what heaven looks like. Well, if heaven were in Canada. And all metric-y.

I stood mesmerized, drinking in the scenery like a parched CEO with the first Mai-tai of the day brought to my office by the new, (nod nod wink wink) secretary.

Really, I couldn't turn away until I realized that there were 30 pairs of eyes on us, and from their perspective it didn't look so much like I was soaking up the natural beauty spread outside the windows behind them but rather staring directly at them with a slack-jawed expression.

Great.

Fortunately, Leeza skip-danced over to us and ushered us to a seat at a nearby table. "Good morning David and Suzanne. I trust you slept well last night?"

"We sure did," Mom replied. "The bed is very comfortable, and the room is great. Although after yesterday I probably could have slept on a freeway."

Leeza smiled, "Oh you poor things. Well, you're here now and we're going to take good care of you. Here," she pulled out the chair for your mom, "have a seat and I'll get you started."

Mom and I took our places at an already occupied table. My suspicions from the night before were confirmed: It was large, square, and could fit four on each side. We sat alone on our side, two empty chairs bookending us.

This was no regular table. It was a square of Canuckian humanity. Possibly a tribunal. From the moment we sat down, it felt like we were at a job interview that had gone terribly, terribly wrong.

*** the journey continues ***