A Proper Canadian Accent

*** continued from previous post ***


Back to breakfast.

I decided to take the proverbial bull by the horns, for this was your mother's worst nightmare. I could intuit this from the fact that she was kicking my ankle quite viciously under the table. I grimaced and ever so gently moved the forks out of reach.

Casting caution to the wind, I cleared my throat and took the plunge.

"Hi, I'm David and this is my wife Suzanne." I smiled, projecting confidence and warmth and mostly no insanity at all.

Mostly.

Now usually, when you introduce yourself to a group, unless you're holding a gun in a dark alley while the introductions take place, everyone speaks in turn and introduces themselves. This is what happens in what I've come to call 'normal society'. Apparently, from the land where milk really does come in bags, this was not the custom.

The gentleman sitting closest to me leaned forward. He wore wire-rimmed glasses, and a scruff of beard that complimented his flannel shirt quite well. His hair was mid-length, and parted on the side with just a shock of a black bang draping his forehead. He was of medium build, and on the skinny side of that. But not the 'I have some horrible medical condition' skinny, more of a 'I am an outdoor enthusiast, lean, mean, and packing my own crap out of the forest so as not to disturb the delicate balance of nature' skinny. His facial features were sharp. He fairly glowered behind his glasses, his eyebrows knotting and twisting like a flag in the wind.
Evidently this was the alpha Canuck for all members of the family, (Or is there a different nomenclature for familial groupings in Canada? Clans? Covey? Covens? Hockey Teams?), for all other eyes at the table turned to him.

"I'm Mark," he said with a nod of his head. "This," he said, indicating the elderly woman on his right, "is my mother Martha. Next to her is my wife Cathleen, my brother Carl, and our children, Amanda, Stacey, Jeff and that's', he said pointing, "Carl's wife Camila, and their kids, Jennifer and Brandon, and Brandon's friends Kevin and Alex.

I sat mesmerized. Like music his voice was. His was a thick Canadian accent. A proper Canadian accent. A 'screw you to the STATES' Canadian accent.

*** the journey continues ***